Locked&Faraway
by xXPrincessMXx
Summary: You're trapped in a white, white room. All alone, locked and faraway from the ones you wished you were with. Roxiri
1. Alone

_Locked_ **& **_Far Away_

_**When all you have is yourself and nobody's there to save you…  
><strong>__Chapter 1  
><span>_**Alone**

_RoxasXKairi (Roxiri)  
>Romance &amp; Friendship (Hints of Drama? Probably some hints of humor too.)<br>T  
>#Warning! In this story Sora is the Keybearer and his adventures happened for real. But in every world, he meets the characters again… he doesn't remember all of them! (Just saying to avoid confusion)<span>_

Afterwards, everything seems much easier. You wouldn't have done that, you would've said the correct thing. But at the moment you should've said it, you shouldn't have done it, you'll find yourself doing the exact opposite thing. You'll do the wrong thing, you'll say the wrong thing.  
>That's how things are. No one has ever tried to do anything about it, because that's just the way it is. Today, I found myself in a situation so bizarre, so strange that even I find it hard to believe it.<p>

_A month ago…_

"Guys!" Sora ran into the room, waving with a pile of papers. "Look at this!"  
>He nearly threw the papers in Riku's face and in mine. "LOOK!"<br>Riku, staying calm no matter how worse the situation was, removed the papers from his eyes. "Sora, for God's sake, you can't expect me to immediately look at something the moment you brought it on."  
>Sora pouted. "Dude, aren't you just completely happy?"<br>Riku raised an eyebrow. Sora sighed and turned to me. "C'mon, Kairi!"  
>I looked at the papers he brought in.<br>"Reservations?"  
>I stared at him in disbelief, while he proudly looked down at us. "Reservations?"<br>"For what?" said Riku as he let himself sink further away in the chair.  
>We always met up in this cave. We, mainly Sora and I, kept coming here and we drew a lot of things here when we were younger.<br>I gave Riku the reservations. "He just got us reservations for the Twilight Town Hotel!"  
>Now even the cold and cool Riku gasped. "No way!"<br>He then glared at Sora. "How did you get this?"  
>Sora winked. "I'm the Keybearer. Whether you like it or not, I'm famous, baby!" He stroke a ridiculous pose and made us both laugh.<br>"So, when are we going?" I asked my ex-boyfriend as he sat down, calming down a bit. He grinned widely. "Well, as soon as possible! I was thinking about… next week?"  
>I gasped. "You can't be serious! I need to pack, to call off everything I had planned and-"<br>Sora sighed and leaned back. "Fine. Over two weeks?"  
>Riku snickered. "Sure pal, what about the match between me and Tidus? I really want to kick his ass for once."<br>I shook my head. "Sora, you own an amazing imagination system, but you really need to learn how to be realistic."  
>Riku agreed. "Why not plan it next month?"<br>Sora threw up his hands in defeat. "Fine. Next month. The reservations are still valid 'till the end of this year."  
>-<p>

I sighed, rubbed my arm with my hand and sank back against the cold tiles.  
>It seemed so long ago, like it happened an eternity ago, instead of a month.<br>Why I did recall this? I shook my head and rested it upon my hands.  
>I was tired, so tired of waiting. Did no one miss me out there?<p>

_One week ago…_

"Aaaah, feel that?" Sora sucked in as much air as possible.  
>Riku swung his backpack nonchalantly over his shoulder as he looked around the train station.<br>"Well, I don't get the point why sniffing so loudly people think you're on drugs."  
>Sora whacked him in the chest. "That wasn't necessary to say, pal."<br>I pushed a few strands of my auburn hair behind my ear and swung my bag over my shoulder too.  
>"Well, shall we go instead of standing here?"<br>My friends nodded and we all made our way to the exit. It wasn't very crowded, but everyone seemed to know where they had to go.  
>We did not really know the way, so we just followed a chubby guy with a huge camera. He wore a red cord around his forehead; His black hear fell messily on his head and his footsteps were amazingly light and cheerful.<br>"Um, why are we following that guy?" I whispered.  
>Sora shrugged. "He seems to know where he's going."<br>Suddendly a voice shouted. "Pence! Where the heck were you?"  
>A blond guy with green eyes came running towards the chubby guy we'd been stalking, to say it the way I saw it. The guy we'd been following turned and grinned widely at the newcomer. "Hi there, Hayner! Were are Olette and Roxas?"<br>"Back at the Usual Spot! C'mon!"  
>They both ran off and left us in this unknown, foreign city.<br>I took a deep breath. "So… which one of us brought a map?"  
>-<p>

I chuckled gently. I should've known Sora always forgot those important things and Riku always thought I took those 'important' things with me.  
>And I… I forget things too.<br>I yawned and felt my stomach twirl and roar with hunger. Strange, because I was not really starving. Maybe I was, but I didn't really think about the hunger.  
>Or, maybe I was already in a kind of a unconscious state. Who knew?<br>I was the only one here in this small room, with bright white tiles and a (closed) white door.  
>At first, the whiteness of this room had blinded me. But now, the brightness had faded a bit.<p>

_A week ago…_

After we finally arrived at the hotel, Sora checked in, leaving me and Riku alone in the hall.  
>I looked around, admiring the nice furniture and the chandelier. "Nice…" I mumbled in myself.<br>"Sure. But this is the best hotel in the whole region. It has to be nice, don't you think?" Riku answered. He crossed his arms. "I mean, we paid for it."  
>I laughed. Typically Riku. "You didn't have to pay."<br>Riku shrugged.  
>There fell a silence between us.<br>Then, I looked worriedly at the counter, where Sora and a man in black were talking.  
>"Shouldn't we join him? I mean… you know Sora…"<br>Riku snickered. "Sora's not fourteen anymore, Kai."  
>No. He wasn't.<br>"I know, I know." I muttered.  
>Riku put his hand on my shoulder. "But I know you miss that age… in all of us."<br>I looked up at him. "Sora isn't the only one who changed much in our adventure, I know. But I think he's the only one who still tries to get that old 'self' back."  
>Riku shrugged and removed his hand from my shoulder. "Hmm… I think we all try to. But Sora… well…"<br>We watched him come our way and he grinned at us. I chuckled. "He's the only one who succeeds."  
>Riku smiled as well and turned to Sora. "You did get us the best rooms, right?"<br>Sora's smile fell. He started fiddling with his backpack. "Err… We have to share one room… I thought you guys wouldn't mind…"  
>I gave him a small hug. "Of course we don't mind. Without you we wouldn't even be here, now would we?"<br>I felt him gave a sigh with relief in my neck as he hugged me back. "I miss you." He whispered, so soft and gently only I could hear.  
>I sighed as I planted a kiss in his neck. "I miss you too."<br>-

Sora and I had been boy and girlfriend for quite a while. From our fourteenth to our eighteenth. Four years... happy years.  
>We broke up because the spark was over. Still, we both missed the safety of never being lonely, the safety of someone always waiting for you when you arrived home. We missed being together.<br>Still, we both knew it was over, forever. It was harsh, but true. We were just not in love anymore.  
>However, we still knew what the other was thinking, we still knew how the other felt.<br>I missed him even more now. I wouldn't feel so alone if he was here.  
>He could bring joy everywhere he came.<br>He would know what to do.

_A couple of days ago..._

"I've had enough of the swimming pool," Riku declared. "I want to go into town."  
>I nodded. "Yeah, it'd be fun to check the town out as well."<br>Both Riku and me looked at the bed, where Sora laid, covered under his blankets. "Sora...?" Riku started. "Sleepy retarded moron. Get out of bed. Now."  
>He left the bedroom to collect his stuff.<br>I still waited and finally saw Sora stretching himself. He yawned as I sat next to him. "You know Riku hates it when something remains the same every day again."  
>Sora wrapped his arm around my shoulder and rested his face there as he yawned again. "You're right. You're right." When he yawned again I pushed him away. "God, Sora, how late did you make it last night?"<br>"GUYS!" Riku shouted. "If you don't come now, we won't have to go anymore."

The town was beautiful. It was big, but there weren't much people on the streets. Riku acted like a real tourist (by taking pictures of everything), Sora was continuously yawning and I... I was just walking together with them.  
>"Hey, isn't that the guy we followed earlier this week?" Riku said, pointing with his camera to the black haired guy. Sora yawned again. "Huh?"<br>He got a whack on his head. "Oh, that guy. Yeah, we followed him."  
>I laughed at his sleepiness. "And look, there's that blond haired guy too."<br>There was also a girl with them now, with brown curls and another blond haired guy. He was the only one who wasn't smiling. He stared at the pavement under his feet and his hands were stuck into his pockets.  
>Sora, the spontaneous one, suggested we should ask them to show us around. I, being awfully shy, wasn't sure it was a good idea.<br>Riku shook his head and ruffled through my hair. "They know this town. Let them show us their town!"  
>That's why I kind of hid behind Riku while he followed Sora, who was already standing by the four teenagers. "So, since you know all 'bout this town... would you mind give us a tour?"<br>The blond guy we'd seen earlier, stepped closer to Sora, while the rest took a step back. Ah, that was the leader. "You look familiar... do we know you?"  
>Riku snickered and bent over to my ear. "He just didn't ignore Sora. He changed the subject... very subtle."<br>I held back my laughter and wrapped my hand around my mouth to stop myself from laughing. The other blond guy looked my way. His crystal blue eyes were rather cold and icy, and he raised a brow at me. Oops. Nice first impression. We could forget that tour.  
>"Uhh, I can't recall ever seeing you before." Sora said, tapping his chin while thinking.<br>Good lie. We did see him before, but then we had to admit we stalked his black haired friend.  
>The boy shook his head. "Never mind. I'm Hayner." He said as he shook hands with Sora. "Sora."<br>Hayner nodded and pointed at the black haired guy. "This is Pence," He gestured behind him. "Olette," and at least he pointed to the guy with the cold eyes. "and Roxas."  
>Sora grinned widely and pointed at us. "Riku and Kairi."<br>"Why do I always get called last?" I muttered at Riku. "Always. 'Sora and Kairi,' 'Riku and Kairi', 'the boys and Kairi'. Marvellous."  
>The icy boy, Roxas, heard and a small smile curled his lips. He didn't say anything, but I felt relieved. At least the tour was granted.<br>-

Maybe they would hear me if I screamed. Maybe they heard me if I screamed so hard I would hurt my own ears.  
>Useless.<br>There was no one down here.  
>Sora and Riku would probably be somewhere near the coast.<br>"Help...?" I said. Nobody replied.  
>-<p>

_Yesterday..._

"Guys, can you imagine that we were all separated last year? That we all had no idea if we were going to make it to the end of that year?" Sora suddendly said, in a very serious mood.  
>"Well, I've been trying to <em>forget<em>, my dear Sora." Riku said, and he flipped over to his stomach. Yes, we were back at the swimming pool.  
>"No, seriously..." Sora said weakly. "Every time I think about it..." He stared at something we couldn't see and he put his hand on his chest.<br>"Do you miss it?" I asked.  
>Sora blinked twice and returned. He gave me a smile. "No, I don't miss it. It's over."<br>"Yeah," I began while sinking back in the chair. "For now. Wait until the Heartless come back. You'll notice how quickly King Mickey calls you back."  
>Sora frowned. "Well..."<br>"The darkness always returns, Sora. You know that. It's not predictable... sometimes it can be in your own heart." Riku said, face down in the grass.  
>"Probably." Sora said. "But maybe the people have learned and-"<br>"Dude," Riku said while sitting up. "Have you seen Roxas?"  
>"Who?" Sora said, dumbfounded.<br>I slapped my forehead. "No wonder it was easy for them to remove your memories. You don't have them."  
>Riku snickered. "You know, the guy with the icy stare."<br>"Oh!" Sora remembered.  
>"I wouldn't be surprised if he's from the Dark Side." Riku finished his sentence.<br>I frowned. "I don't think so, because-"  
>But my two friends rolled their eyes at me. "You should stay out of this conversation. You've a pure heart. You can't dislike someone."<br>I crossed my arms. "Incorrectly. I dislike you, at the moment."  
>Riku laughed and pushed me from my chair. I laughed too and pushed him away and sat down again.<br>"Kairi," Sora suddendly said with a gentle smile. "You know, I can't think of somebody disliking you."  
>"Where did that come from? We were talking about the Darkness. You know I'm the Darkness itself." I joked, earning laughter.<br>Yeah. Me and Darkness? That's the same as Sora being a member from Organisation XIII.  
>Or... Icy Roxas trying to help somebody out.<br>-

I think somebody disliked me. Somebody disliked me so badly he or she wanted me to die here.  
>My stomach roared again.<br>I sighed and crossed my arms. "I don't think it's someone's fault I'm here... only mine."  
>It was me, who saw this on the way to the train. It was me, who said to Sora they should go ahead, that I was going to check something. It was me, who opened this door and walked in. It was me, stunned and amazed, who let the door slip from my fingers and let it fall close behind me.<p>

-

_Today..._

"I miss the beach." Sora stated. "I absolutely love the swimming pool, but I miss the salt water."  
>Riku rolled with his eyes. "That's why we're going to the beach, you moron."<br>Sora gave him a whack. "Don't talk like that in the company of the Keybearer!"  
>"Seriously, I'm one too, idiot!"<br>I laughed and watched the station come closer.  
>Suddendly my eye fell on an abandoned alley.<br>"Sora..." I said, trying not to make it too clear I was going to that alley. It attracted me somehow, but Sora hated those alleys. He was scared something would happen to me.  
>"Hm?"<br>"Why don't you guys go ahead and leave me here for now? I want to check something..."  
>Sora immediately turned and stared at me. He didn't trust it. "What are you up to?"<br>I tried not to look at the alley. "Sora, c'mon! I'm not a three years old! I'll be with you within thirty minutes."  
>Sora's eyes narrowed, but Riku gave him a push. "Come on, Sora! Give her a break. She's not going to get lost or something."<br>Sora sighed. "Fine. We'll see you _within_," he gave me a stern look, "thirty minutes."  
>-<p>

I laughed, softly. _Within _thirty minutes. I raised my wrist to look at my watch. I sat here for three hours already.  
>"What came into my mind?" I wondered out loud.<br>I know I have a weak spot for those dark alleys. Ever since I was lost in the Darkness, I have this fear and fascination for the usual darkness. Like I want to prove I'm strong enough to conquer the darkness in alleys, dark rooms and stuff like that.  
>I sighed again and decided to try, one last try to get me outta here. I stood up, walked to the door and took a deep breath.<br>"Can somebody hear me?"  
>I yelled at the top of my lungs.<br>No reply.  
>I rested my forehead against the door. "Please...?"<br>"Kairi...?"  
>-<p> 


	2. His Voice

_Locked_ **& **_Far Away_

_**When all you have is yourself and nobody's there to save you…  
><strong>__Chapter 2  
><span>_**His voice**

_RoxasXKairi (Roxiri)  
>Romance &amp; Friendship (Hints of Drama? Probably some hints of humor too.)<br>T  
>#Warning! In this story Sora is the Keybearer and his adventures happened for real. But in every world, he meets the characters again… he doesn't remember all of them! (Just saying to avoid confusion)<span>_

**Earlier…  
><strong>I sighed again and decided to try, one last try to get me outta here. I stood up, walked to the door and took a deep breath.  
>"Can somebody hear me?"<br>I yelled at the top of my lungs.  
>No reply.<br>I rested my forehead against the door. "Please...?"  
>"Kairi...?" <p>

I didn't recognize the voice, but it was a male, that was for sure. And he did recognize my voice.  
>A small knock on the door, black from the outside, bright white from the inside. "Kairi?"<br>I blinked twice, then rested my ear against the door. "Can you hear me?"  
>The next moment, I wanted to slam myself in the face. If he couldn't hear me, he wouldn't have asked for me. No bloody idiot would walk to some random door and ask: "Kairi?".<br>"Yeah."  
>"Get me out of here, please!" I begged for dear life, didn't feel the need to know who it was, just wanted to get out of here. "Please!"<br>His voice was lower when he spoke. "I can't."  
>This answer stunned me.<br>He couldn't?  
>"What?"<br>He must've heard the roaring indignation in my voice, because his voice held a desperation I couldn't understand, didn't want to understand.  
>I'd been here for three hours, and all I wanted was to get out. Now.<br>"I can't."  
>-<p>

_A couple of days ago…_

No one was allowed to know the mystery of my past. It was a task, a heavy burden on my shoulders.  
><em>Don't speak to anyone.<br>_Hayner and Pence laughed as Olette watched Hayner move, breathlessly.  
><em>Don't speak to anyone about it.<br>_I crossed my arms and sighed. It was not easy.  
>But I had to keep on.<br>_This is confidential. Don't speak to anyone about it.  
><em>"Guys. I'm off. Need to do some stuff." I said curtly. They didn't understand me. Why would they? There was nothing to understand.  
>It was confidential. I mustn't speak about it.<br>When I walked off, strolled through the town, I saw their faces.  
>Hayner, who's ambition to be a leader drowned out every other feeling. Pence, who wanted to become a photographer so bad. Olette, who's been in love with Hayner for ages.<br>_Don't speak.  
><em>I balled my fists, clenched my teeth tightly shut.

Feelings had been long gone when I had returned. I was nothing more than a diary. People had trust me, talked to me.  
>And made me promise…<br>_to not tell anything…  
><em>It made me crazy. Many secrets, many _dark _secrets.

Within no time at all, I was back in my familiar clothes.  
>Black.<br>Black as the heart inside me.  
>If I had one.<br>Everyone was so sure… but I could never feel it. Never. Sure, it pounded in my chest in a stable rhythm, but I did not feel… any way.  
>I raised my hood and frowned. I didn't want to feel anyway.<br>The way Olette acted around Hayner, Hayner's disappointment when somebody else won the battles instead of him, Pence's frustration when his photo's got rejected.  
>No. I did not feel that way.<br>I was simply alive, only able to bear the secrets from others.

"Did you see his face? Did you see his fucking face?" Hayner exclaimed with a smirk. Olette laughed along and Pence suppressed a sigh. He hated the way Hayner could show off. But he still faked a smile, for the sake of his childhood friend.  
>Suddendly a small group caught my attention. I didn't raise my head to follow them, but I kept watching them from the corner of my eyes.<br>I was always alert.  
>Always.<br>There was a brown haired boy, a silver headed freak (seriously, _silver?_ He dyed his hair. Period) and a redhead. Nothing to be alert about.  
>But they kept my attention, like something forced me to look at them.<br>Then I noticed.  
>They were fighters. Their muscles, the way they looked around. I felt my body tense up at the sight of it. The girl with them, with the red hair (it was more crimson, actually), didn't really look like a fighter, but the way she stayed close to the brown spiky haired boy… ah… she must be his girlfriend.<br>I tried to focus on the conversation of my friends, but then she looked at us. The redheaded girl.  
>Her eyes travelled over our group. Her eyes slid over Pence, Olette, Hayner. Me.<br>She had deep blue eyes. I saw her looking at me, but she didn't see me looking at her.  
>And then my heart, which was always beating with the same stable rhythm, started to pounce harder than ever before.<br>It was a weird sensation, and for a moment, I wished she wouldn't stop looking at me.  
>But her eyes shot back to her friends, and my heartbeat slowed down again.<p>

Then, the brown haired boy walked toward us. "Hey there!"  
>Hayner's eyes slid over the tanned, muscular guy. "Hi."<br>Then I saw the silver freak ruffle the girl through her hair and he said something to her. It was lost to the wind.  
>"Do you guys live here?"<br>In any case, they followed the brown haired boy.  
>"Yeah, we were all born here." Pence answered.<br>I wondered why the girl didn't come with him.  
>"So, since you know all 'bout this town… would you mind give us a tour?"<br>She hid behind the freak. Why did she hide? Wait- Why did I care?  
>It was asked to Pence, so Hayner's pride was hurt. He stepped forward, to show the guy <em>he <em>was the leader of our group.  
>Ridiculous.<br>Suddendly Hayner's frown disappeared. "You look familiar… do we know you?"  
>I stared at the brown haired boy. Hayner had to be kidding. I didn't recognize the guy at all.<br>The freak suddendly snickered, softly. The others didn't hear him. He bent down to whisper in the girl's ear. But I could hear him.  
>"He just didn't ignore Sora. He changed the subject… very subtle."<br>The girl bit her lip to hide her laughter, then wrapped her hand tightly around her mouth to prevent her laughter to come out.  
>I caught her eye again, but this time I forgot I had turned my head in her direction. She saw me looking this time. I raised my brow at her and ignored the heavy pounding in my chest.<br>The girl blushed and looked away.  
>Meanwhile, the leader of their group tapped his chin and finally said. "Uhh, I can't recall ever seeing you before."<br>My thoughts exactly, Mr. Spiky.  
>Hayner shook his head. "Never mind. I'm Hayner." He shook hands with the spiky head.<br>"Sora." He said. Hayner nodded and pointed to Pence. "This is Pence," and he vaguely waved his hand in Olette's direction. "Olette," Then his finger reached me. "and Roxas."  
>Sora started to grin like a maniac and pointed at his friends behind him. "Riku and Kairi."<br>Who was Riku? Who was Kairi? I was… confused. I never heard those names ever before…  
>"Why do I always get called last?" The girl muttered to Riku. "Always. 'Sora and Kairi,' 'Riku and Kairi', 'the boys and Kairi'. Marvellous."<br>She must be Kairi then. Her voice was not as high as I expected. She had a very nice, low (for a girl) voice and I understood her remark. I couldn't stop the smile.  
>-<p>

I stared at the white door. Finally, somebody heard me, and he _couldn't help me out?_  
>"I… Why…"<br>Silence.  
>"Who are you?"<br>Another silence… but this one was obviously one filled with indignation. "You met me. A couple of days ago."  
>Why now… why at this exact moment was my memory so bad I couldn't recall him?<br>Where had I heard his voice before…?  
>-<p>

I was in my usual clothing, my black boots, my black cloak. Only my hands weren't covered this time.  
>Alone.<br>I was walking toward my alley. There was a door there, black, so nobody could see what was inside.  
>It was Naminé's old room.<br>The Organization had locked her up there.  
>Naminé…<br>Where was she?  
>She made sense to this mess my life was. She made me <em>feel<em> a bit.  
>I'd rescued her from that place, only to lose her. Forever.<p>

As I reached the door and stroke the black metal with my fingertips, a voice called out, making me jump backwards with shock and I blamed myself for not noticing the door was locked.  
>"Can somebody hear me?"<br>It was a yell, a yell for help. A yell with desperation. A cry for help.  
>Was it Naminé? My mind spun.<br>Then, the voice was softer, gently, and very sad. "Please…?"  
>It was Kairi.<br>For no reason, my heart jumped up and sank through my feet at the same time. _She _was locked there?  
>"Kairi…?"<br>I wanted to run away. I had spoken to the girl! Now I had to tell her I couldn't get her out of here.  
>She didn't talk again.<br>But I couldn't just ran off, could I?  
>I could keep her company…<br>My hand found its way back to the door and knocked on it. "Kairi?"  
>Damn, I had done it again! I had talked again!<br>"Can you hear me?" She asked, surprised.  
>My hand still on the door, I closed my eyes. I rested my head against the door and shivered. "Yeah."<br>I had no idea what she did with me.  
>She reminded me of Naminé. Badly.<br>Nights… and nights I stood here. Talking with her… helping her escape… helping her to erase herself from my life.  
>"Get me out of here, please!" She begged me, her calming voice higher than it was that time I heard her speak, probably with desperation. "Please!"<br>It hurt me.  
>For the first time, I felt something.<br>Her begs hurt me.  
>I pressed my eyes more shut and tried not to make it clear to her I had a tough time, telling her I could absolutely <em>not <em>open that door for her.  
>"I can't."<br>I wasn't even allowed to! But how do you make that clear to some innocent redhead?  
>She was quiet for a moment.<br>"What?"  
>Indignation. She didn't understand why I wouldn't help her.<br>Her voice sent shivers through my spine, up and down, up and down, and made my insides shrink.  
>I gasped, but so softly she wouldn't be able to hear.<br>"I can't."

Another silence as that sank into her.  
>"I… Why…"<br>She stuttered. My hand automatically trailed to where I heard her voice, my eyes still closed.  
>"Who are you?"<br>Marvellous.  
>She didn't even remember me.<br>Why would she? I hadn't been so nice for her that day, but still… somehow I was aggrieved she didn't recognize my voice…

_Wait… had she ever heard my voice before?_

"You met me. A couple of days ago."

_She has never heard my voice before…  
><em>  
>"I'm sorry…" She whispered softly. "I… I don't remember you…"<br>Maybe… maybe we could help each other out.  
>Just… maybe.<br>I could keep her company, she could help me bear the secrets. She wasn't going to get out very soon anyway…  
>The White Room That Never Was had been closed again, and they wouldn't be so stupid to give me the key again.<br>"Listen, you don't have to remember me… but."  
>"Please… help me."<br>Stings in my chest, my heart cried and my eyes squeezed together with horror.  
>She really had to stop begging. I could not bear that on top of everything else.<br>She sounded too much like Naminé whenever she did that.  
>"No, listen, I can't help you, if I could, I would've done it already," I whispered back, not able to talk louder. "But I-"<br>I cut myself off and opened my eyes, stepped back. She must have heard the footsteps on the pavement.  
>"No! Don't leave me alone here! Please don't leave me alone!"<br>Naminé had never said that.  
>Never.<br>"I won't…" I sighed as I stepped back to the door, let my hand trail over the door, didn't even know why I did that. "I'll keep you company for as long as you'll be here."  
>Silence.<br>What did I think? She wouldn't think my company was helpful anyway.  
>"Thanks." She murmured.<br>-

I waited patiently for his reply, which took a while.  
>"Do you… Would you care to listen to me… if I told you a story?"<br>I sat down against the door, my ear pressed against the door.  
>"Go ahead." It was not like I had something else to do anyway.<br>And I was curious. The same curiosity which got me into here. 


	3. Organization XIII

_Locked_ **& **_Far Away_

_**When all you have is yourself and nobody's there to save you…  
><strong>__Chapter 3  
><span>_**Organization XIII**

_RoxasXKairi (Roxiri)  
>Romance &amp; Friendship (Hints of Drama? Probably some hints of humor too.)<br>T  
>#Warning! In this story Sora is the Keybearer and his adventures happened for real. But in every world, he meets the characters again… he doesn't remember all of them! (Just saying to avoid confusion)<span>_

**Earlier…  
><strong>I waited patiently for his reply, which took a while.  
>"Do you… Would you care to listen to me… if I told you a story?"<br>I sat down against the door, my ear pressed against the door.  
>"Go ahead." It was not like I had something else to do anyway.<br>And I was curious. The same curiosity which got me into here. 

And I was curious. The same curiosity which got me into here.  
>"Ever heard of Organization XIII?" He asked.<br>-

"_What are you going to do with us?" I asked, my hands gripped the bars tightly.  
>His eyes were cold as he replied. "You're the fire that feeds Sora's anger."<br>Then, he looked away and walked off, just like that.  
>I felt guilty as I looked down. "No…"<br>I paused, and then went on, my hands sliding down the bars. "Sora's in danger because of me."  
><em>-

"Yes." She muttered darkly.  
>I sat down, with my back against the door. "Well, once, the group existed from thirteen members…"<br>"Who were in it?"  
>"Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Saïx, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene and…and Roxas."<br>It felt odd to say my own name in this row, and her not knowing it was me. Maybe she realized because I hesitated…  
>However the hesitation was too short for her to realize… but maybe… maybe…<br>"Roxas?" She gasped, but not in a recognizing way. She just recognized the name, didn't notice it was me.  
>"You know him?" I asked, trying to find out what she <em>did <em>know about me.  
>"Yeah… I met him a couple of days ago…" She said. "And… and… God… I didn't know…" She was shocked. I felt myself become uneasy. What were her experiences with the Organization, once my family?<br>She took a deep breath. "Hell, Riku joked about it yesterday… but I said I didn't think so… and…"  
>I was somehow not surprised that Riku had recognized me somewhere. Well, not recognized… he had seen I was a fighter too. And the fact I did not fit in the group of my friends said a lot too.<br>And maybe he knew people from the darkness.  
>"Do you know him too?" She asked, gently, as if she was afraid she'd offended me when she had shown her shock.<br>"I know him very well." I said, feeling miserable.  
>"I'm sorry… don't mind me. Just go on."<br>"Roxas," How awkward to talk about yourself in this way! But I had to try. "I mean, when Roxas came into the Organization for the first time, he couldn't remember his past. Axel took care of him the first days."  
>"Axel?"<br>I was surprised. Did the two (complete different) redheads meet once? "You know him?"  
>"Yeah… he… well… he kidnapped me once." She said.<br>Ah. That explained those negative experiences…  
>Well… negative… so many positive things weren't there to say about the Organization either way…<br>"Oh."  
>"But Sora told me… Wait… I haven't told you… do you know Sora and Riku?"<br>I wanted to cut off my tongue. I hadn't interrupted her when she talked about Riku…  
>I wasn't supposed to know him in this version of myself. I was not Roxas. I was the storyteller.<br>She suddendly chuckled, gently. "Well, I think you do know them… They're the Keyblade masters after all."  
>I was relieved. "That's right."<br>So they were the Keyblade masters?  
>I somehow felt the need to tell her I was one too, that I wasn't so bad as she thought I was now.<br>Strange… were did those feelings come from?  
>The need to prove myself… the need to comfort her… the need to tell her my story.<br>This wasn't Naminé.  
>This was Kairi.<br>-

"That's right."  
>He was silence for a while, and then I realized I hadn't finished my sentence.<br>"What I wanted to say earlier… Sora told me Axel felt sorry for what he did to me… so I guess I'll forgive him."  
>"He's not a bad guy."<br>"Sora also told… he's dead."  
>"I know. I know."<br>Silence.  
>"Well, I don't think he's a bad person. Sure, he has made mistakes. We all do. He has always chosen for the path which he could have his bit of profit too. And luckily, most of the time it was the good path."<br>"Maybe you're right…" I said as I let it sink into me. "After all, if he hadn't kidnapped me, I wouldn't been able to see Sora in that castle."  
>"You've been to the Castle That Never Was?"<br>He sounded surprised.  
>"Is it called that way?"<br>"Yeah."  
>I felt a weird feeling of déjà vu come over me. "You know an awfully lot about it… how do you know?"<br>"Axel was my friend."  
>"So Roxas was your friend too."<br>He chuckled darkly with some sort of humor I didn't understand. "Was."  
>"Not anymore? What happened?"<br>"Well… that's the end of the story… we're just at the beginning."  
>"Oh, sorry!" I had forgotten he tried to tell me something.<br>-

"Then, a new member came into the group."  
>"So it was Organization XIV then?" She asked.<br>I laughed. "No. Nice try, but we still kept the same name. Later on, it all made sense. But we thought, or at least I thought…" I noticed my mistake and quickly added: "And Roxas thought as well, that it was just because the Organization had its name and it wouldn't change, no matter how many people were in it."  
>I sighed. "It was a girl. Xion."<br>"Xion…"  
>"Yeah. I don't think you know her."<br>The girl laughed. "No, I don't know her. But you sound like you do… was it your girlfriend or something?"  
>"No…" I swallowed. "But Roxas used to think she was… kind of… his girlfriend."<br>"Oh… sorry I interrupted you once again."  
>I chuckled. "Don't worry… It's quite a story and I'm afraid even I will fall asleep if you didn't keep me sharp."<br>-

"_Riku._" I gritted my teeth. "She's been gone for three hours!"  
>He just shrugged. "Don't worry, Sora. She's just losing track of the time."<br>I ran a hand through my hair and felt panic rise.  
>We were already on the beach. And Kairi was still not here.<br>However, I kept looking, hoping to catch a glimpse of crimson somewhere.  
>"Sora, relax! You're not her dad!"<br>He was getting annoyed by me.  
>"Riku, first you said she would be somewhere else on the train. Then you said she missed the train, and now you say she's losing track of the time! Kairi's never to late when she promises me she'll be on time!"<br>He didn't react. Just sighed.  
>But I couldn't stop worrying.<br>Kairi… where are you?  
>-<p> 


	4. The Beginning Of The Search

_Locked_ **& **_Far Away_

_**When all you have is yourself and nobody's there to save you…  
><strong>__Chapter 4  
><span>_**The Beginning Of The Search**

_RoxasXKairi (Roxiri)  
>Romance &amp; Friendship (Hints of Drama? Probably some hints of humor too.)<br>T  
>#Warning! In this story Sora is the Keybearer and his adventures happened for real. But in my story, he meets the characters again… he doesn't remember all of them! (Just saying to avoid confusion)<br>The same goes for other characters. #_

**Earlier…  
><strong>"Riku, first you said she would be somewhere else on the train. Then you said she missed the train, and now you say she's losing track of the time! Kairi's never to late when she promises me she'll be on time!"  
>He didn't react. Just sighed.<br>But I couldn't stop worrying.  
>Kairi… where were you? <p>

I rested my head against the door. "We became friends. Best friends. But… Xion caused a lot of trouble."  
>I remembered all the times she had problems and that we, Axel and me tried to fix it for her. What was left of it? It was all wasted. What good had our friendship done to ourselves?<br>"Axel and… and Roxas tried to help her out… but things went wrong."  
>"What do you mean?" She asked.<br>"I mean that Xion disappeared more than once, Axel hid secrets from me… err… and Roxas too, I guess. I'll leave the details behind, but it was a chaotic mess, let me tell you."  
>I knew I was sounding bitterly. It could've been so good, the three of us together on the Clock Tower. Why couldn't we be the same way Sora, Kairi and Riku were? They seemed pretty good friends to me.<br>Not that it mattered now.  
>I lost them both.<br>Forever.  
>I even lost Naminé.<br>Clearly, I wasn't meant for friendship.  
>I was meant to stay alone, on the sidelines, watching the game.<br>"But… if you were… you know…" She hesitated. "Well, if you were best friends… it wouldn't be a… a…"  
>Her voice faded at the end and I heard her take a deep breath. "Well… never-"<br>"You mean that if we were truly best friends, we would've made it through?" I asked.  
>"Well… err… yes." She murmured. Then, as if she wanted to explain her way of thinking, she said: "I mean, Sora and Riku… and me had loads of trouble as well, but we all made it through… So I was just wondering…"<br>She sounded upset by now. "You know what? Never mind…"  
>" S'okay." I said, feeling the strange urge to calm her down. "We had no idea what friendship really was, after all."<br>She sighed and I heard her move. "I'm sorry, it just sounds rude. Please continue and don't mind me."  
>Suddendly, I didn't want to continue. I didn't want to face the truth again.<br>So I skipped a lot. She didn't have to know everything, did she? I wouldn't want her to know everything. Nobody would.  
>Not even someone like her.<br>"When time moved on, I realized it was all a complot. All the things Axel hid from me… and Roxas… all the things the Organization hid from … them… It all made sense later.  
>Roxas had to leave, forever… or Xion.<br>After more trouble… Xion was gone… in the way of gone forever, I- Roxas lost his memory, and Axel stayed behind."  
>"And you?"<br>"Me?"  
>Shit. What kind of part did I have planned for myself?<br>If I told her I stayed behind with Axel… She would've more questions. Perhaps she would find out what secrets I carried along.  
>There was no need for her to find out.<br>"Well… Let's say I stayed behind too… but somewhere else. "  
>"I'm sorry."<br>-

It was silent.

A very long while.

I was not even sure if he was still there.

However I wanted, desperately wanted, to call out his name, I knew I couldn't.

He never said his name.

I felt awkward, like it was not acceptable to ask his name after his story.

But I had to talk.

"Say… you said Roxas lost his memory?"

He didn't respond, making panic rise in my throat.

He didn't left me, did he?

Strange, but I needed him to stay here. He was the only thing what kept me from banging my head against this – still closed – door and wishing I was somewhere else instead.

"I did." He simply said.

I sat up, moved to my knees and pressed both my hands against this wicked, evil door.

"Is that… Is that the reason why he's this way?"

"What do you mean?"

Was it just me, or did he sound defensive?

"Well… he looked so cold… so… detached…"

It was silent. Again.

"I don't think he's a bad guy…" I said gently, afraid I had hurt him with this… rather blunt – for me, in any case – remark about his friend.

"You think so?" He asked.

I heard him move, and heard footsteps on the pavement.

"No!" I gasped. "Please! Don't go!"

"I won't." He reassured. "I thought I heard something."

My heart jumped up and pounced a lot quicker than before. "Really? Maybe they can-"

"They can't get you out either." His voice suddendly turned harsh. "Trust me. They can't."

And he blew all my hopes into bits.

It was silent.

She was quiet, and for a moment, it seemed to me that she had fallen asleep.

She had left me behind here, on the cold pavement.

I didn't mind, though.

She wouldn't be able to really leave me.

Like Naminé once did. Like Xion once did.

"Say… you said Roxas lost his memory?"

U-oh.

I didn't want to answer that question.

When I finally had escaped from that Castle, I had met Naminé. She had erased my memories, she told me. Then, she told me the whole story again, so I was able to remember, to recall things.

I returned, to gain their trust again, to get the key.

She said she wouldn't leave when I had gotten her out of there.

I was foolish. Naïve, even.

"I did."

I heard her move.

"Is that… Is that the reason why he's this way?"

This was not a question I expected.

And what the heck did she mean?

What was wrong with me?

"What do you mean?"

"Well… he looked so cold… so… detached…"

That's because I'm not supposed to feel, girl.

I was trying to compose a reply.

One that didn't sound ridiculous.

"I don't think he's a bad guy…" She said gently.

She sounded afraid she had hurt me.

Me, not a bad guy?

I had joined a bad group.

I fought for the Darkness.

I held dark secrets.

I was embittered by the loss of my friends and Naminé.

I was an empty shell.

And she didn't think I was a bad guy.

"You think so?"

Suddendly I heard voices.

I got onto my feet and walked a bit further to the street.

Kairi reacted immediately. "No!" She gasped.

I heard her get up too. "Please! Don't go!"

Was it really bad to like the fact she didn't want me to go?

"I won't." I told her. "I thought I heard something."

"Really?" She said, sounding enthusiastic. "Maybe they can-"

Before she could finish her sentence, I saw a vision.

Sora, Riku, here, to rescue her. They would blow the door open, and Kairi was forever gone… Like Naminé. Like Xion.

I forced myself out of that unpleasant vision and focussed on saying something. "They can't get you out either."

My voice sounded harsh. I was able to hear it myself.

Trying to get it softer, I said: "Trust me. They can't."

"Oh." She sounded deeply, deeply disappointed.

I felt a lump in my throat.

But I had to keep her here.

I couldn't let her go.

"So, this is where we left her, right?" Riku said. He was _finally_ getting concerned too.

"Yup." I said, my jaw tight. "Kairi!" I roared. "Where are you?"

"This is not gonna work." Riku said simply, making me even more mad.

"Like you have some good idea to save her!"

"Don't take it out on me," Riku said dangerously. "You're not the only one here who cares for her!"

I frowned and looked at the street. "Sorry," I mumbled.

"Let's go separate ways, that's more effective." Riku suggested.

"You're right." I sighed. "I'm sorry… I'm just… so… so worried."

"S'okay." He said. "I take this way, you take that way."

But somehow, my eyes missed the dark alley in the corner, where a dark figure was watching us with an angry glare.

I went to look who was creating the sounds I heard earlier.

My vision came true. Or at least, a part of it.

Sora and Riku were arguing about something – Kairi – on the streets.

No.

They wouldn't find her.

I wouldn't let them.

Sora and Riku split up; so they had decided to go separate ways.

But luckily for me, they missed this alley completely.

As they left again, I returned to Kairi.

Her silence said more than a thousand words.

She felt miserable.

"So… why don't you tell me something?" I said, trying to cheer her up a bit.

"What do you want to hear?" She said.

I was right.

She felt… truly miserable.

I clenched my fists.

No.

I wouldn't let her go.

I just… couldn't.

"Anything," I said, slightly desperate.

"Well… my story is not that interesting," She mumbled. "I mean, facing the fact I've always been the one who got caught, so Sora had to show up to rescue me once again."

"I don't think he would mind," I said gently.

I wouldn't. I think.

She sighed. "I suppose so. But it feels incredibly stupid to constantly be the one who needs to be rescued."

"What is Sora like?"

She laughed softly, almost tenderly.

"Sora is very easy-going, very spontaneous too. He's a fun-loving guy who's very protective of his friends and… he's very sweet too."

"Is he…" I swallowed. "You know, your boyfriend?"

Why did I envy the spiky-haired kid?

Because this girl was probably his and not mine?

"He was. We broke up a while ago. We're both single once again," She said with a soft chuckle.

"Oh."

She was free, available.

But what was I thinking?

Me, the bad guy, with _her?_

I needed to get out of this way of thinking.

I shook my head, like a dog trying to get water out of its ears.

But I tried shaking Kairi out of my head instead.

"What is Sora like?"

Heh, what a question.

How should I describe Sora?

The fourteen years old kid, fighting to be an adult. Fighting to be seen as a mature grown-up.

The eighteen years old guy, hopelessly fighting to be the kid again.

"Sora is very easy-going, very spontaneous too. He's a fun-loving guy who's very protective of his friends and… "

And he's been my beloved boyfriend. My always beloved best friend.

"He's sweet too."

"Is he… you know, your boyfriend?"

"He was. We broke up a while ago. We're both single again," I added with a chuckle.

What an odd way to talk about yourself. 'Single'. Even the word sounded lonely.

"Oh."

That syllable sounded a bit strange to me.

As if he had heard what he wanted to hear.

But then suddendly a question for him popped up in my mind.

"Do you think I could dislike someone?"

It was a weird question, out of place.

He didn't know me, I didn't know him.

And yet…

"Why not?" He said. He sounded very calm.

"Well… Sora and Riku said I couldn't." I said, feeling a bit sad as I thought about my friends. Was there a way for me to see them again.

"Why would they say something like that? It's only natural to dislike a couple of people," He said. "Don't they dislike someone or something?"

"They do… but they said I couldn't because the stupid 'Princess of Heart'- thing." I murmured as I stretched my sore body.

I met a silence.

"You are… you are a _Princess of Heart?" _The boy at the door gasped. "You are one of them?"

"It ain't that special," I said, feeling embarrassed.

I heard him move, and the next moment he spoke, his voice sounded closer than before.

"In that case I have to say I have no idea if you can dislike someone, really…"

"Well, Sora and Riku weren't really… positive about… one of your friends… but I thought they were exaggerating things a bit. Even if I tried, I couldn't dislike him." I murmured to myself.

"Who?" He sounded suspicious. He had every right in the world to be.

"I'm sorry," I squeaked a bit. "Did I say that out?"

Suddendly he chuckled.

It was a very soft and attractive – I had to say – chuckle, which made me melt.

"Yeah, you did. Still, who did they dislike from my friends?"

"Roxas." I said, feeling my face heat up of embarrassment again. This was not nice at all!

He wouldn't leave because I had said it, would he?

"Roxas."

I felt as if I got a heart attack.

How did she know?

And then I calmed down, realizing we had been talking about one of my friends.

And she still had no idea _I _was Roxas.

So her friends disliked me?

But she didn't.

She didn't.

"Oh. Well. He's kind of odd, don't you think?" I said, feeling relieved.

"No!" She said defensive. "I think he's rather nice if you… you know, can get close to him!"

I chuckled again. "Would you like to try?"

"He never gave me a chance to."

That's right. I never did give her a chance to like me.

I never gave her the chance to even say 'hi' to me.

Such a pity, now I thought about it.

Maybe she had realized it was me, if I had.

Maybe we would have the solution for this situation already.

Only if…

"Have you found her?" I said, my teeth grinded together in anxiety.

Riku shook his head, his silver brows knitted together in worry. "I have to say I'm pretty concerned too now. This is not like her… at all."

"Seems like our new adventure has started," I muttered darkly. "But the creators have a very bad sense of humour if they did."

Riku sighed. "What do we do? Shall we get Hayner, Pence and Olette and that Roxas-guy?"

"I don't want that Roxas- guy to be involved," I said sharply. "I don't trust him at all."

"What choice have we?" Riku asked.

"Fine," I grumbled.

Kairi, you better buy me a huge ice-cream when we find you.

You owe me that for bringing in that Darkness-pal in this.


	5. Gone

_Locked_ **& **_Far Away_

_**When all you have is yourself and nobody's there to save you…  
><strong>__Chapter 5  
><em>**Gone**

_RoxasXKairi (Roxiri)  
>Romance &amp; Friendship (Hints of Drama? Probably some hints of humor too.)<br>T  
>#Warning! In this story Sora is the Keybearer and his adventures happened for real. But in my story, he meets the characters again… he doesn't remember all of them! (Just saying to avoid confusion)<br>The same goes for other characters. #_

**Earlier…**

Riku sighed. "What do we do? Shall we get Hayner, Pence and Olette and that Roxas-guy?"

"I don't want that Roxas- guy to be involved," I said sharply. "I don't trust him at all."

"What choice have we?" Riku asked.

"Fine," I grumbled.

Kairi, you better buy me a huge ice-cream when we find you.

You owe me that for bringing in that Darkness-pal in this.

* * *

><p>"Thanks."<p>

"For what?" I said. "As far as I'm concerned, all I did is talk."

"Thanks for being with me."

I blinked in surprise at the door. "You're welcome."

Silence.

"Kairi? Do you feel all right?"

"A bit hungry, and it's freezing in here, but otherwise, I feel okay."

"So, in other words: you're starving, you're freezing to death, and-"

She laughed a little. "Yeah, I suppose so. But I'm still glad you are here."

But she made me think about this. There was no way I could bring food for her, or a blanket, right?

All I could do was talk to her.

How did Naminé survive all those days, months, maybe years?

"Can you describe me what the room looks like?"

"White."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "And besides the 'white'?"

"More white."

Another smile tugged the corners of my lips upwards.

She was trying to make me laugh, however she must feel miserable in there.

"And besides the 'more white'?"

"Well, it looks like a bathroom, really."

"Any doors in there?"

I heard her move, and tried to listen harder.

"Well… only one. But… that's not the way out. I can't get it open in any case."

Naminé had locked it.

* * *

><p>"Gone?"<p>

"Yeah, in the way of: 'she has disappeared from this Earth' or 'she disappeared into thin air'," Riku said, trying very hard to remain cool and calm.

I knew I was the opposite.

"Have you seen her? Do you know where she might be? You just don't happen to have seen her anywhere?"

Pence shook his head, Olette looked sadly and Hayner bit his lip. "Maybe Roxas has seen her. I mean, Roxas disappears too from time to time."

"Maybe he's with her?" Olette suggested.

I couldn't help but frown.

The thought of my soft, fragile, sweet Kairi with the icy, probably with Darkness filled, detached Roxas didn't make me feel so comfortable.

"Where is Roxas right now?" Riku asked, looking a bit relieved.

Relieved? How could he? While Kairi was in the hands of some evil creature?

"We should go around town. He must be somewhere," Pence said.

I would definitely beat Kairi up and kiss her to death when I would find her.

How could she make me worried like that?

And, I had to admit, I was already hoping too that she might be with Roxas.

It would be very Kairi-like: She must've strolled around, found Roxas, started talking, started walking, and they probably got lost or something.

Yeah.

That was what happened.

* * *

><p>I was really starving.<p>

I never thought I could be hungry like that.

"Well, at least I should be able to survive two months or something like that without eating."

"It won't last that long," He said, sounding concerned. "I will find a way."

He didn't say he would find a way _to get me out of here_ . He would only try to find a way to make me survive this.

But since my new friend acted odd whenever our conversation got there, I decided to drop that subject.

"I guess Sora and Riku must've forgotten all about me, then," I sighed.

"They haven't."

"How do you know?" I asked, a bit curious.

"I just know."

I chuckled. "Sure. You just know. Well, it wouldn't hurt to believe they are searching right now. Maybe they will find Pence, Olette and Hayner… and maybe Roxas too! If they all come here… we might be able to get me out!"

No reply.

"Maybe, with that many people, we'll be able to break through this door or something?"

"If they were able to…" He murmured. "Would you leave me?"

I blinked a couple of times.

What on Earth was he talking about?

"What do you mean?"

"Would you leave and never come back?"

"Of course not! Friends don't do stuff like that! If I got out, I'd never forget about you. Sure, I have to return to the Islands, but I'll make sure I'll be coming back here… or you could come and visit us! I'm sure Sora and Riku will like you too! We should, if we do, invite Roxas, and Pence, Olette and Hayner too! Then we all can have ice-cream together or something…"

Silence.

"I'm sorry… I'm just talking nonsense, aren't I?" I murmured.

"You don't. I think it's cute when you're getting enthusiastic like that."

An odd blush spread across my cheeks. Hot, burning… and flaming red.

The last time that happened, I had been dating Sora.

"T-t-thank you, I-I s-suppose…"

"You don't have to stammer like that," He said gently. "I just noticed."

The blush wouldn't go away.

* * *

><p>"Kairi?"<p>

I got no reply, which was odd.

"Kairi, you in there?"

That was a very stupid question, of course she was in there.

Still not a single reply. Not even a sound.

I strained myself in order to hear everything in the Room That Never Was.

Then, I finally heard her soft, gentle breathing.

She must be fast asleep then.

And then it popped into my head, like it had been there all along.

Of course! I could create a Dark Portal, a corridor to get in the door.

And to get her out, which I was not going to do.

Last time, with Naminé, the Organization had locked the room completely.

They probably cast magic on the room, so no one could ever get in without getting the key.

But they had no idea the Room That Never Was had closed again.

Maybe… just maybe…

I could see her.

But if I went, I should bring something to eat along. And a blanket, probably.

I didn't want her to get away from me, but I didn't want her to die here either.

That's when I stood up, and made my way toward the Usual Spot. Running, stumbling, still dazed by the quick realization and our conversations.

Pence always brought tons to eat with him.

He never could manage it to gulp it all down all by himself, so there must have been something left.

And suddendly, I was very grateful towards my black-haired friend.

But I had to be real quick. She would be upset when she found out I'd left her.

I had to be quick.

* * *

><p>"Where's that kid hiding?" Hayner grumbled. "God, it's just like he disappeared from Earth."<p>

"Yeah, that's why Kairi's probably with him," Riku said, sticking his hands in his pockets and sighing.

My worrying was vanishing. I was very sure that Kairi would be with Roxas.

However I couldn't stand the thought of them together (in what way whatsoever), it felt depressingly reassuring at this moment.

"Sora, don't worry! We'll find her! Twilight Town's not _that _big, you know." Olette said, touching my arm.

I beamed at her. "Sure, I'm very sure we'll find her, but it's just…"

I sighed and looked away. "It's just that I don't really… you know, trust Roxas."

Olette shrugged. "Roxas is a nice guy, if you get close to him. He's not that amiable with everyone, he just saves that for a couple of people, I guess."

"Are you one of them?" I wondered out loud, as I saw her look away with a guilty expression.

"No… no… I'm afraid not. I… you know… I just… it's…" She expelled a breath. "Well, I usually don't take the time to understand him… so… no. I'm not one of them."

"Oh."

"But I'm sure Kairi will get along with him just fine," She said quickly. "She seems like she's very nice!"

"She is," I murmured, a small smile tugging at my lips. "She is."

And that made it so hard for me to understand what she was thinking, hanging around with that Roxas-guy.

"THERE!" Hayner exclaimed. We followed his pointed finger and I caught a blonde flash, running extremely fast.

"ROXAS!" Hayner bellowed. "ROXAS! OVER HERE!"

The boy skipped to a halt and turned, startled.

"H-Hayner?"

However everyone seemed glad that they had found _him, _I was worrying over _her. _

Because… "...!"

Because _she wasn't with him!_

She wasn't with him!

She was still gone, and what did I care for that bastard if my Kairi was still gone?

My lips sank into a deep frown and I glared at him.

Why wasn't she with him?

We hurried up to his side as he started to look uncomfortable.

"Are you all right? You look pale," Olette said anxiously. "Where have you been?"

He stared at each one of us as if we'd stopped him in something very important.

An accusing stare.

I shot an accusing stare back. It was his fault my Kairi was vanished like someone put out the lights.

"I-I've just been around town," He said, with a frown. "Nothing much, really."

"Have you seen Kairi?" I said boldly. "Have you spoken to her, anything? Do you know where she is?"

Something closed up in his face. He straightened himself and crossed his arms as he studied me.

"No." He said coldly.

"What do you mean: 'no'?" I snarled.

Hayner cut me off. "Roxas, Kairi has been missing for over three hours, and Riku and Sora are rather worried. Are you sure you haven't seen her?"

Pence nodded. "Yeah, I mean, you have been around town, right? Haven't you seen her just pass by or something? Anything would help!"

Olette rushed to Hayner's side. "Roxas, please! Can't you recall seeing a red-"

"I know what she looks like," He snapped, his frown deepened, his mouth a hard, thin line.

"Listen up," I growled, taking a step toward him, clenching my fists. "Don't you dare to go there! Have you seen her or not?"

"I told you I haven't seen her," Roxas said, lowering his voice, and his cold eyes rested upon my face, as if he was curious about something.

Riku gently put his hand on my shoulder. "Sora, don't take it out on him. Everyone's worried."

Yes. Everyone, but that bloody son of a bitch over here.

"Would you mind helping us to go look for her?" Pence said softly. "You know every bit of town, so it shouldn't be hard for you to find something, right?"

Roxas's eyes flashed toward Pence. "Sure," He murmured. "I don't mind."

At least Pence did belong to that group of people he was nice to.

* * *

><p>I woke up, feeling numb all over my body.<p>

I shivered as I rubbed my cold fingers against my arm in order to get them both warm.

"I'm sorry!" I said to him. "I think I fell asleep."

I sat up and yawned.

But then it hit me.

Nobody answered.

"Um… are you still there?"

Did he fall asleep too?

"Please?" I murmured, touching the door with trembling fingers. "Please?"

"Please!"

I gasped for air as I realized he was gone.

My new friend was gone!

I was all alone again, and he was gone!

"No! Please!" I felt tears burning on my cheeks. "Please!" I hiccupped once as I pressed my trembling fingers harder against the door, where he had been all the time.

Now, all I met was a cold silence, his absence burned a hole in my heart.

"Please!"

He was gone.


	6. Memories & Promises

_Locked_ **& **_Far Away_

_**When all you have is yourself and nobody's there to save you…  
><strong>__Chapter 6  
><em>**Memories & Promises**

_RoxasXKairi (Roxiri)  
>Romance &amp; Friendship (Hints of Drama? Probably some hints of humor too.)<br>T  
>#Warning! In this story Sora is the Keybearer and his adventures happened for real. But in my story, he meets the characters again… he doesn't remember all of them! (Just saying to avoid confusion)<br>The same goes for other characters. #_

_#Double Warning! In this chapter there might be **references** to the MANGA! Not the game, because everyone must be tired to read those over xD Kidding! Anyway, I preferred to use the manga this time! #_

**Earlier…**

I gasped for air as I realized he was gone.

My new friend was gone!

I was all alone again, and he was gone!

"No! Please!" I felt tears burning on my cheeks. "Please!" I hiccupped once as I pressed my trembling fingers harder against the door, where he had been all the time.

Now, all I met was a cold silence, his absence burned a hole in my heart.

"Please!"

He was gone.

* * *

><p>"ROXAS! ROXAS! OVER HERE!"<p>

Hayner.

No.

_No!_

I immediately stopped, and turned towards Hayner's voice.

"H-Hayner?" It really was him.

No! This meant it would take longer before I could return to Kairi!

She'd be so upset… and she'd be hurt because I'd left her.

Hayner, Olette, Pence and… and... and..._Riku_ _and Sora_ came running toward me. What the hell were _they _doing here with my friends?

Ah, they were here because of Kairi. Of course. They'd not found her yet, so they came asking around.

Damnit.

That meant I'd to lie.

Although. I had not _seen _her yet. Yet.

Damnit.

My chance to see her… to touch her... was definitely gone by the time I got back.

"Are you all right? You look pale," Olette said to me, sounding anxious. "Where have you been?"

I have been at the Room That Never Was, Olette, with Kairi. Yes, with Kairi whom you're all looking for.

She's actually very hungry and she's going to freeze there, so I'm on my way to the Usual Spot to fetch her some food and a few blankets.

You mind?

I stared at them.

At Hayner, at Pence, at Olette, at that Riku-guy… and at Sora.

He shot me an accusing stare, which I didn't understand at all.

He had not a single right in the world to shoot glances like that.

"I-I've just been around town," I answered Olette's question, leaving all details behind. "Nothing much, really."

"Have you seen Kairi?" Sora cut me off boldly. "Have you spoken to her, anything? Do you know where she is?"

Of course this was about Kairi. He'd been her boyfriend, so it was only natural to worry about her.

If I were in his shoes, I'd done the same.

Yet I felt a little pang of jealousy in my chest.

She'd spoken so fondly of him, as if he was the one who held her together, as if he was the one she'd hoped for in the first place to show up at that door.

She'd wanted him, once.

And that made my blood boil with the speed of lightning.

I straightened myself, crossing my arms in the progress while I stared at his face, stared into his blue eyes which I knew Kairi had found herself staring at probably a hundred times before.

"No."

"What do you mean: 'no'?" He snarled at me, anger darkened his eyes.

He didn't buy it.

Well, Sora, 'no' usually means a denial.

But before I could say that – I _ached _to say that, as harsh as I could – but Hayner cut both Sora and me off.

"Roxas, Kairi has been missing for over three hours," He started, staring at me intensively, as if the answer could be seen on my face.

I know. I've been with her almost the entire time.

"And Riku and Sora are rather worried. Are you sure you haven't seen her?"

Yes, I'm very sure. I have not seen her, thanks to you morons.

Pence nodded, rather eagerly. "Yeah, I mean, you have been around town, right? Haven't you seen her just pass by or something? Anything would help?"

I haven't seen her pass by.

If I had…

Would she still be stuck there? I wasn't quite sure.

I wouldn't have stopped her, just because it was her.

Maybe if I knew _this _was going to happen.

Olette rushed over to Hayner's side. "Roxas, please! Can't you recall seeing a red-"

I know she has red hair, for the love of God! Damnit, I did wanted to see her crimson hair so badly that it hurt if I thought about it.

And _you _are getting in my way.

"I know what she looks like," I snapped at her.

Sora was not amused.

He took a step toward me, clenched his fists and growled at me. "Listen up. Don't you dare to go there! Have you seen her or not?"

I started to get annoyed by him… a lot, actually.

"I told you I haven't seen her," I said, trying hard to lower my voice and not to shout at him. That would only make my behavior even more suspicious than it probably already was.

I stared at Sora, memorizing his face.

What did Kairi like so much about him?

She'd possibly never seen him this way, though… I had a feeling Sora kept this face, these emotions hidden for her, and only showed enemies this look.

Riku frowned at his friend's behavior and stepped forward, to put a hand on his shoulder. "Sora, don't take it out on him. Everyone's worried."

Sora did not calm down in the slightest bit.

Actually, he only seemed to get more angry with me.

Yes, I was worried too.

I was worried she would either freeze or starve to death, or both. And then I was sure there was no moving on for me.

If I lost her too…

"Would you mind helping us to go look for her?" Pence said softly. I knew he was the only one here who understood me, although it was probably a little bit.

A very little bit.

"You know every bit of town, so it shouldn't be hard for you to find something, right?"

I'd hunt down every Heartless the Organization could throw at me. I'd hunt down Xion a hundred of times.

No. It shouldn't be hard to find something.

Except there was nothing to find in the first place.

I had to _return _to her, as soon as possible.

And the only way I could make that happen, was to go along with their plans and worries.

"Sure. I don't mind."

* * *

><p>I had to pull myself together, now!<p>

But tears kept coming; sliding over my cheek to my chin, and finally drip down to the white floor.

Sobs slid through my clenched teeth and I trembled at this loss.

The loss of my new friend.

Why was I so upset? I didn't really know him, and yet… yet… he was gone.

I was eighteen, for Pete's sake! I couldn't just go crying every time I felt like it!

And yet… he was gone.

I lost my new friend; the friend who had guided me through hours, what seemed an eternity.

"Please!" I tried once more, sobbing myself through the word. "Please!"

"Kairi!"

I heard running footsteps, then a sound of something – someone – crashing into the door. "Kairi!"

He was back!

I let out a small noise at the back of my throat. "Y-you'r-you're b-back!" I stuttered with a small sob at the end of my sentence.

I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand and let out another sob. "Y-you're r-really b-back!"

"Kairi," He moaned a bit, with obvious relief. "Kairi! I'm so sorry it took so long! I'm so sorry!"

"I-it d-doesn't m-matter," I said, hiccupping one last time before taking several deep breaths to calm myself down. "I-I shouldn't c-cry so easily, a-anyway," I chuckled a bit while wiping tears of relief away.

He was back.

"Kairi," He sighed. "I'm sorry."

He was back.

* * *

><p>I felt horrible.<p>

Clenching my fists, I cursed the coincidence, for letting my path cross with them. It took so long before I could - finally - shake them off.

She was in tears when I got back.

I hated myself with an intense hate.

I should've said I had seen her pass by at the station or something.

They would go look, asking me if I came along, but no, thanks, I would've smiled politely. 'No, thanks, I think I left the door open at our Usual Spot, I'll be heading there.'

'Oh, okay,' they would've said.

I would've grabbed the things I needed and gone back.

"I never really got your name," Kairi broke the silence, her voice small and vulnerable. "I tried to remember so hard, but I can't recall anything."

Now we've gotten to the part I wish we could skip.

"I'll tell you another time, okay?"

"What? Wh-" She started, sounding surprised.

"Another time, okay?" I pressed gently. "Just, not now."

"Okay, then, I guess," She sighed.

"I'm really sorry for leaving you here," I said once more. "I shouldn't have done that."

"No! It's fine, really! I just got really worked up and overreacted a bit," She said in a comforting tone; I could nearly see the smile on her face.

"You thought I was never coming back?" I suddendly said, my eyes went wide at that realization.

I would always return.

I knew how painful it was if someone never came back.

That's why I would never do that.

She was silent for a while.

"Yes."

"You thought so?"

"Yes."

I chuckled a bit. "Kairi, I'm _always _coming back!" _especially for you. _"There's no way I would just leave you here alone while I'm off having fun or something."

"Thank you," She said softly. "When I get out, I really owe you something."

_Stay. Stay with me, and I'll try to get you out. Stay forever, and I might just call everyone to help me to get you out, or I would just do it myself._

_Stay. _

"You don't really owe me something," I murmured miserably. "It's what everyone would do, right?"

Now she chuckled. "Sora wouldn't. He'd be banging on this door, shouting my name… nothing else. I would be shouting his name, and that would go on all the time. It would've been quite disturbing at a certain point. Yelling each other's names half the day isn't that fun, you know."

I felt something bubble up in my stomach. It went higher and higher 'till I heard the laughter escape my lips.

I was laughing, and she laughed along, a bit hesitantly at first, but then wholeheartedly.

I hadn't laughed so hard ever since being good friends with Axel. It felt a bit strange, to be blunt.

After a while, I calmed down again and expelled a breath. "Wow… that was actually very funny," I said, while folding my arms behind my head, leaning back against the door, turning my head so I could hear her without straining myself.

I heard her take a couple of deep breaths and she sighed, her tinkling laughter still drenched in her voice.

"I guess so."

A silence fell in which we both calmed down and listened to each other's breathing.

"Can I… can I just… I mean, can I just talk to you about my past?" Kairi suddendly murmured. "I just want… want to recall all of it, before I will have to let it go."

"What? Why would you have to let it go?" I said, frowning in confusion.

"I fear… that I'll never be able to get out… so I might as well… just… accept that."

I couldn't tell her she would be able to get out. And I hated myself even more.

"Go ahead," I murmured back. "I'm listening."

* * *

><p><em>I felt miserable, numb. <em>

_I felt as if my head had been spinning for years. _

_The sunlight was warm and hot, burning on my back. _

_The warm seawater washed over my legs, my thighs. It stung into cuts and bruises. _

_I heard quick footsteps, running over sand, coming closer. _

_I kept my eyes closed, felt exhausted. _

_Someone hovered over me. _

"_Who… are you?" He asked. _

_I opened my eyes to see the silhouette of a boy, with spiky hair. _

"_Where did you come from?" He urged. _

"_Sora!" Another boy called. "Where have you been?"_

"_Riku! Look! A girl!"_

_Another pair of running footsteps. _

"_U-um, hi! Are you okay? Who are you?" The other boy asked. _

_I finally found the strength to stand up. "I-I'm K-Kairi…" I murmured, not directly looking at the boys, who were gazing intensively at my face. _

_Then, the boy with the brown hair, Sora, extended his hand and grinned. "Nice to meet you! I'm Sora!"_

* * *

><p>"<em>Where are you going?" I asked, quickening my pace to catch up with the boys. <em>

_I think I was seven, eight… Riku was probably nine, then. _

"_We're going to look for caves!" Sora chirped. "We're going to find treasures and fight monsters!" He punched his small fist in the air as he stared up at Riku. "And then we'll duel for the princess!" He said, now frowning. _

"_But Riku, we haven't found a princess yet!" Sora gasped. "What now?"_

_Riku shook his head. "Then let's not duel for a princess, but for the treasures!" He suggested. _

"_Great!" Sora shouted. "That's even cooler!"_

"_Can I come along?" I asked eagerly, wanting to fight monsters and find treasures too. _

_Now Riku froze in pace. _

_He turned to look at me. "You can't." He said. "You're a girl."_

_Sora frowned again. "Aww, Riku, but Kairi is special! Kairi can come, right?" _

_Riku shook his head again. "No, sorry. You're a girl, and girls start crying when monsters come, and if we find treasures, you can't protect them. So, no. Why don't you play with your dolls or something?"_

_He turned away and started to walk away, leaving me with watery eyes, close to the point where I usually started crying._

"_B-but… S-Sora… I-I w-won't c-cry!" I whispered. "I-I promise! C-can I p-please…-?"_

_Sora started to move awkwardly, hesitating. "Kairi… I'm sorry…" He murmured. "I don't mind if you start crying! I can protect you and the treasures, right?" He asked, sounding unconfident as he ended the sentence. _

"_Sora, you coming?" Riku called, sounding annoyed._

_Sora sighed and took my hand. "I'll see you around!" He said, feigning joy. "We'll be back soon!"_

_As soon as he let my hand go and began to run after his friend, I burst out in tears. _

_I was left behind._

_And I definitely didn't like it. _

* * *

><p><em>When we were twelve, Riku thirteen, they started small competitions which took place... every day. <em>

"_Okay, Sora, who's at the Paopu Tree first?" Riku said, face turning serious as he saw the challenge appear. _

"_Me, so unless you wanna lose, you'd better start running!" Sora shouted, as he started to race towards the Tree. _

"_Guys!" I mumbled helplessly. "Why don't you- Just… - What's the matter with you?" I muttered angrily. "Always showing off, you two."_

_They didn't catch that, nor was it my plan that they'd hear me. _

"_Kairi! Kairi! I'm first!" Riku yelled at me, his face glowing red with pride. "I'm first! I defeated Sora! Did you see that?"_

_Sora was leaning forwards, hands on his knees as he was still panting. He looked rather miserable, but also kind of angry too. _

"_It wasn't hard to miss because you started yelling," I grumbled. "Why do you always have to make from every little thing a competition? It just doesn't make any sense!"_

_But they shared a long look and then both stared at me, something in their eyes I did not understand. _

"_Riku, I want my revenge! Let's race towards the docks, okay?"_

* * *

><p>"<em>I'm not taking 'no' for an answer, Kairi!" Sora said, teasingly. <em>

"_Yeah, Kairi! You should definitely come too!" Riku agreed. _

_We were thirteen, Riku was fourteen. Selphie'd decided to throw a party, and I didn't want to come, since I don't like parties, especially not Selphie's. _

_I really didn't want to come, even though I had a major crush on Sora, and I knew there would be a bunch of girls swarming up to him that evening. _

_I knew I'd be stuck in the corner anyway. _

_I can't dance, I'm clumsy, so it would be out of security to put me down to sit somewhere alone. _

_Plus the fact I didn't really want Riku to hang around me all the time. It sent shivers of fear and awkwardness through my spine if he did._

"_Guys, no! I just don't want to come, okay?"_

_They still forced me to go, and there I was that night, standing in front of my mirror, debating what to wear._

_I just decided to wear shorts and a shirt, because I had no idea what to expect. _

_And if no one was going to notice me anyway, why bother?_

_But then Sora popped up in front of my door. He came up and he shook his head when he saw me. _

"_I thought girls wanted to wear dresses at parties…" He said, sounding obviously disappointed. "So where's your dress?" He said, a teasing tone in his voice._

"_I don't want to. Besides, I didn't want to come in the first place," I said, maybe a bit too bitter because he started to laugh. _

"_Fine, then I'll have to choose something for you, don't you think?"_

_He then picked my new white dress and he said I had to put it on. _

_I did as I was asked and we went there together. _

_Selphie was thrilled I was there, but I'd rather sink away in the ground as soon as I saw how many people had shown up. _

_I really thought Sora wanted me to die, because he started to pull me toward the crowd. _

"_Sora, w-what the h-hell do you think you are d-doing?" I stammered angrily. "I'm not going to dance, you hear me!"_

"_Not even with me?"_

_I fell silent. No, actually. Not even with him. _

_But just when I was about to tell him that, I caught some girls staring at him, moving closer to, obviously, ask him to dance with them. _

_Sora was polite, so he would say 'yes'. _

_And however I'm supposed to be pure and all, that was the first time when I was really… just really pissed off, actually. Madly jealous at every girl who was closer than a yard to him. _

_So jealous I thought my vision blurred red. _

"_If you want to dance with me, I'll be glad to make an exception for you," I said, smiling although I felt like killing. _

_And that's how I ended up on the dance-floor. All night long. _

_I guess some things are unpredictable.  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>I saw him. <em>

_One arm behind his head, his eyelids closed, lips parted to let out deep breaths. _

_He was sleeping. Again. _

_Then he suddendly started to move as I came closer. _

_He opened one eye, shielding his eyes from the hot sun with his hand. _

"_Hey!" I called out. _

_He shot up immediately, looking as if I had given him a heart attack. _

"_Kairi!" He mumbled sleepily. _

_I carried a big drawing of our ship… well… boat… or rather a raft, really. _

"_I saw you-" I said suggestively, but then stared at his sleepy face. _

_Riku would not be amused if he saw Sora slacking off like this. _

"_I _knew _you were slack off soon," I said, narrowing my eyes as I glared at him. "Sora."_

"_I-I wasn't!" He said defensively. _

_I felt my eyes go softer. "Sure, Sora. You'd better be happy I found you… If Riku had seen you, he'd gone so angry that he'd might as well have killed you."_

_Sora rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Uh… haha… yeah."_

_I bent down to eyelevel with him. "So, what did you dream about? Me, perhaps?" I added jokingly, smiling at my boyfriend._

_He frowned. "I heard a voice calling me…"_

_He looked away for a moment, before he returned to gazing back at me. "Was that all a _dream_?"_

_I smiled while ruffling his hair slightly. "I don't know. I suppose so."_

_He sighed at the moment of contact and then shivered. "Anyway, let's get moving before Riku catches us slacking off," He grinned goofily._

_I glared at him. "_I _was _not _slacking off!"_

"_Whatever, Kairi," He laughed as he got up and ran towards our raft. "C'mon!"_

* * *

><p>'<em>For Kairi. I'm here to find someone very special to me.'<em>

"_I'm here to see Kairi."_

"_Riku… I've come to save Kairi."  
><em>

* * *

><p>"<em>Then you return that heart too."<em>

"…_What?"_

"_Kairi's heart which is dormant in your body."_

"Kairi?_"_

'_Kairi's heart is in my body?'_

"_You can forget about me giving it to you of all people!"_

* * *

><p>"Kairi… I'm sorry…"<p>

* * *

><p><em>"I can… always… feel Sora. I can even feel him now." 'Right, Sora?'<em>

* * *

><p>"<em>What's going to happen to the world?"<em>

"_I also don't know… However I can feel it."_

"_And looking closely," I bent to the creature's eyelevel. "You look like a small calf."_

"_Sora… You're Sora, right?" I whispered to the creature, taking its black head with the yellow eyes gazing at me between my hands and leaning closely. _

"_You came back…"_

_I hugged the cold creature. It was Sora, my Sora had returned to me. _

_A bright glow, warm, strong arms wrapped around me. His soft lips slightly brushing over my forehead._

_The creature had changed back into Sora. _

"_Thank you," He whispered back. "Kairi."_

* * *

><p>"<em>I'm not saying goodbye!" I said cheerily, waving frantically at all of Sora's new friends. <em>

_Suddendly Sora turned around so fast he seemed a red and brown blur for a while. _

"_Nooooo!" He roared. "Hey, Kairi! You can't come!" He said angrily. _

_I pouted angrily. "Why not?"_

_I had a strange feeling I had been in some kind of situation like this before. Sarcasm. _

"_Because it's way too dangerous!" He said, gazing at me. _

"_Come on, Sora! You can't go alone!" I said to him, gazing back. _

_Suddendly his angry expression disappeared, he just stared at me with an odd expression on his face. _

_I was not going to leave him alone, not now! We needed each other, right?_

"_We made it this far by sticking together! If you're by my side, I'll be safe!" I gently said. _

_His new friends started to grin and Sora turned to them with a hiss. "Wipe those silly grins off your faces!" He muttered embarrassed. _

"_I just want to save Riku just as much as you!" I said fiercely. _

"_Kairi…" He said gently. _

_He stopped for a moment, looking at me tenderly. "Kairi, all you have to do is to think about us… Think about Riku… and me."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Well…"_

_He sighed. "When I turned into a Heartless… I was lost… in the darkness. I couldn't find my way."_

_He then looked at me again. "As I stumbled through the dark, I started forgetting things… my friends, who I was. The darkness almost swallowed me."_

_His eyes lit up. "But then… I heard your voice! You brought me back."_

_He smiled. "Our hearts are connected. Even if we're apart, we're not alone anymore. Right?"_

_I felt sad. "So… what you're trying to tell me is that I'd be in your way?" I mumbled. _

_He then panicked a bit, tapping his finger nervously against his chin, as if he was desperately looking for a way to break it 'nicely' to me. _

"_Okay. You win." I whispered, closing my eyes with a faint smile. _

_I stepped closer to him and gently laid my lucky charm in his palm. "Take this Thalassa Shell lucky charm." I said._

_I leaned in closer, so that our faces were inches apart. His eyes were wide as he took me in. _

"_Sora, I knew it was you, even after you turned into a Heartless."_

_His face started moving towards mine, his eyes closing a bit. "Wherever you go, I'm always with you. Don't ever forget." I murmured. _

"_I-I won't." He stuttered. "K-Kairi…"_

Wherever you go, I'm always with you.

Don't ever forget.

_He leaned in and pressed his lips against mine for a moment. _

_I backed away after a while, needing to say something else before he would be gone. _

"_And be sure to bring my lucky charm back to me!" I said, as I saw his disappointment in his eyes. _

_Then, he looked down at my lucky charm, smiling tenderly. _

"_I will. I promise."_

* * *

><p>"<em>Kairi!" <em>

_I heard my voice being called by Sora. _

_It couldn't be, right? He couldn't be here... I was dreaming._

_I looked up to see Sora running towards me. _

_So it's not a dream after all?_

"_Sora!"_

"_How'd you get here?" He asked, curiously. _

"_I don't know," I said. "One moment I was with- ah!" I nearly fell over because the ground had split in two with so much force we both had to stagger backwards. _

"_Sora!"_

"_Kairi!"_

_He grasped my hand, holding onto it rather fiercely. _

_His face was somewhere sad, but determined. "Remember what you said before? I'm always with you, too!"_

_Then, his expression turned more desperate as it took much more power to hold onto me. _

"I'll come back to you. I promise!"

"_I know you will!" I said, tears shimmering in my eyes. _

_Our hands couldn't hold onto each other anymore and our contact broke. _

_He drifted away so fast that I was scared to blink, scared he would be gone if I did._

_But he would come back. _

_A tear left my eye and slid down my cheek.  
><em>

* * *

><p>My fingers started to look a bit blue. I could see my breath leaving my lips.<p>

"W-would you… promise me something?" I asked, my voice soft, barely hearable.

"Anything." He said fiercely.

"Will you always come back to me?"

"I will. I… I promise."

_It's a promise, then._


	7. Suspicious

_Locked_ **& **_Far Away_

_**When all you have is yourself and nobody's there to save you…  
><strong>__Chapter 7  
><em>**Suspicious**

_RoxasXKairi (Roxiri)  
>Romance &amp; Friendship (Hints of Drama? Probably some hints of humor too.)<br>T  
>#Warning! In this story Sora is the Keybearer and his adventures happened for real. But in my story, he meets the characters again… he doesn't remember all of them! (Just saying to avoid confusion)<br>The same goes for other characters. #_

**Earlier…**

My fingers started to look a bit blue. I could see my breath leaving my lips.

"W-would you… promise me something?" I asked, my voice soft, barely hearable.

"Anything." He said fiercely.

"Will you always come back to me?"

"I will. I… I promise."

_It's a promise, then._

* * *

><p>The sun started to set, although we had not found Kairi yet.<p>

I was starting to feel really sad, and anxious.

This was not like Kairi at all.

She did what she promised, just like I always do.

And if she promises to be back within thirty minutes, it's not like her to stay away for what seemed an eternity.

Twilight Town may not be very big, but there was not a simple trace towards Kairi.

Nobody had seen her.

She'd just vanished, it seemed.

But as I looked at the red sky, I promised myself I would find her.

I had to. After all, she was still someone very special to me.

After all those years, she was still my first priority.

The sun sank deeper, lower until it nearly disappeared behind the buildings.

It slipped into my mind as a shadow slips into the sunlight.

_Roxas_.

No matter what he did, or what he said, and no matter what Olette had told me, he acted suspiciously.

For example, he was gone, once again.

We didn't find him looking for Kairi, nor did we see him at all.

He just vanished again.

And he had been pretty angry with me too.

Maybe… maybe I would go look for _him, _instead of trying to find Kairi.

I was not going to find Kairi this way, that was for sure.

And by finding out what that Roxas-guy was hiding, I could maybe get a step closer to where Kairi was.

"Kairi… hang in there… I will find you. I promise." I murmured to the sky, to the sun.

And with that, the sun was gone and my mind determined.

* * *

><p>"You should try to sleep," He suggested. "It can help you… escape… for a while…" He added, hesitantly.<p>

I sighed, feeling my teeth clatter from the cold. "I-I-I'm f-f-f-fine, r-r-r-really." An immense shiver jerked through my body, making me shake violently.

"Kairi…" His voice was soft, I wasn't able to hear his emotions through my shaking and clattering.

"D-d-d-d-don't w-w-w-w-worry, i-i-i-it'll b-b-be a-a-a-all o-o-o-over s-s-s-soon." I tried.

He sighed, frustrated. "What do I do?" He muttered under his breath.

"Y-y-y-you s-s-s-s-should g-g-g-g-go h-h-home," I suggested. "I-i-i-it m-m-m-must b-b-be v-v-very c-c-c-cold f-f-for y-y-you t-too."

I didn't want to speak more, because I hated the way I had to push the words through my trembling lips and clattering teeth.

"Never." He said, his voice fierce. "There's no reason to go home. I'm fine."

"R-r-r-right…" I mumbled.

A silence fell, in which he was quiet, and I was too... well, I didn't say anything. I could be heard perfectly on the other side, I suppose.

Then, I wrapped my arms tighter around my body, trying to make myself stop shaking.

Then suddendly an odd sound make me jerk my head up to the sound.

A Dark Portal, right here, in all this white.

I felt myself go numb from fear.

Sora told me everyone was gone from the Organization.

Everyone!

Then why… then why…

Or was it Riku, who had given himself over to the Darkness once again?

It was a hooded figure, in an Organization coat.

Fear made my throat constrict in fear.

Sora must've been mistaken!

I tried to call out to my friend outside, but I was quick to realize he couldn't do much to help me.

The figure slowly walked towards me, as if he tried to slow down to make me feel at ease.

This was very strange! An Organization member, escaped from Sora and Riku, showed up… here?

He bent down until his hidden face was on eyelevel with me.

He tugged at something under his cloak, something dark blue.

I couldn't push him away, or scream.

All I could do was gazing and shiver.

It was a blanket.

The Organization member brought me a blanket.

He wrapped it around me, his hands rubbing over my arms.

From my shoulders down to my wrists, then up to my shoulders and back again.

It was warm.

"T-t-th-" I started, whispering, teeth still clattering, but he cut me off by placing his index-finger on my lips.

I guessed this member was male, because he had broad shoulders, compared to girls.

But who was he?

Everyone had been defeated! This –

Wait.

Not everyone had been defeated.

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_Who were in it?"_

_"Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Saïx, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene and…and Roxas."_

* * *

><p>I was very concerned.<p>

I was so concerned I had pulled my hood over my head and tried to create a portal.

It was possible to enter the Room That Never Was this way, I found out.

Stepping through, I knew I'd done the right thing.

Her lips had nearly turned blue, seemed a bit purple.

She was shivering violently and watched me with an exhausted, but frightened expression.

She did not shout for help, did not try to back away, she just watched me walk over to her, as if I had defeated her already, and she was waiting until I took whatever I wanted.

Her life, her wallet, her heart.

To make it clear I was not planning on harming her, I slowed down my pace, although I was aching to run at her, wrapping the blanket around her as soon as possible.

Then, I bent down in front of her, eyelevel with those blue eyes.

I noticed, coming close, that there was a violet glow in them, merging beautifully with the blue.

I blinked a couple of times, and took the blanket from underneath my cloak.

Not speaking, I wrapped it around her, rubbing my hands over her arms in the progress, trying to warm her up.

"T-t-th-" She started, but I did not want to hear it. I pressed my index-finger against her cold lips.

Her eyes were narrowing, as if she tried to see anything under my hood, or as if she tried to remember something.

Then her eyes went wide and her lips parted in surprise.

"R-R-Roxas?" She said, sounding very surprised.

What? How?

I backed away a little, but she pushed herself off the floor, wrapping the blanket tightly around her before she closed the gap between us by walking towards me.

Her trembling fingers reached out for me.

I'd better run.

But I couldn't.

I could just watch, gaze in her eyes as she came closer.

"R-R-Roxas! I-i-i-it i-i-is y-y-you, r-r-r-right?" She murmured, as her fingers, cold as ice, rested against my cheek.

Fire.

Fire spread through my entire body like she had set me, literally, on fire.

I thought I was going to betray myself.

That she would know, way earlier than I wanted her to know.

But still… She could only recognize my face as 'Roxas'.

She had no idea the person at the door and me were the same person.

I must not speak. At all terms, I must _not _speak.

That was the only way I could keep her illusion alive.

Her fingers reached up to lift my hood, and I let her.

"R-R-Roxas!" She murmured again, this time I saw that she'd recognized me.

"W-What… h-how?" She murmured.

I shook my head, hoping she wouldn't press for answers I couldn't give.

To be blunt, I couldn't talk to her at all.

All I wanted was for her to warm up.

Without really noticing, my hand was touching her shoulder, rubbing its way down to her wrist.

She gave one, last violent shake, before she gave in completely.

I caught her before she could sink through her knees, pressing her against me, stroking her crimson hair.

"R-Roxas… I-I don't u-understand," She mumbled, as her teeth began to stop clattering.

She pulled away a little to look at me. "I… Y-you never… I thought… I-I thought you d-disliked me…"

Again, I found myself shaking my head, looking at her pleadingly.

"So y-you d-didn't d-dislike me, then…" She stated, before she sighed and rested her head against my chest.

"For s-someone who can g-give those icy g-glares like you d-did when we m-met, y-you're pretty w-warm," She whispered, looking up, testing.

I felt a smile tug at my lips, and in response, I pressed her closer.

She seemed satisfied enough by the twitch of my lips and closed her eyes.

I knew this was dumb. Stupid, even.

Now that she knew I could get inside, she would probably beg me to take her along if I left.

Who knows why she hadn't asked for that right away?

Perhaps… perhaps because she was tired, and cold.

I had brought her warmth, and she hoped I would still be with her when she woke up.

Then, she would ask me to get her out.

I couldn't grant that last wish.

* * *

><p>"Sweet dreams," Olette said softly. "I'm sure we'll find her tomorrow."<p>

We stayed over at her place, together with Hayner and Pence.

"Yeah, I hope so too." Riku said, rubbing his eyes.

She closed the door, and left me and Riku behind in the darkness.

I was frustrated. Angry. Anxious.

It felt like agony, not having Kairi around.

But beside all of that…

I felt empty.

I'd become used to her warmth, which radiated off her like a lamp.

I'd become used to her presence, as if she was always there when I needed her.

And now, I seemed to realize how lucky I was.

Even with our break-up, things didn't get awkward.

She was still my best friend, and sometimes she would act very motherly around me; protective, kind and reassuring.

I felt like crying for losing that.

I felt like crying because it was all my fault.

I'd let her go off like that.

What if I had told her to stay with us?

What if I had told her I didn't care how long she would be gone, that she had to go along?

There wouldn't have been a problem at all.

Kairi knew when she had to stop; she never whimpered about these things.

She would've come along with us, and she wouldn't be gone like she was now.

I clenched my teeth, feeling my eyes water.

"Sora?"

Riku's whisper seemed like the wind outside, gently brushing against the curtains.

Easy to ignore. Which I did.

I wondered where Kairi was.

I hoped she was warm, hoped she wasn't feeling alone.

Hoped she was fine.

A tear escaped the force I used to hold them in.

Another one followed.

I took a shaky breath and I felt Riku's hand on my shoulder.

"Sora."

"She's gone… I lost her…" I shivered violently.

"She's not gone, Sora… it's not your fault we couldn't find her."

"I let her go… I let her go…" I hadn't been crying like this since Kairi and I broke up.

However we both knew why, and how… and however we both agreed, it remained hard to digest.

"Sora," Riku seemed to be getting uncomfortable. "We _will _find her. We _will!"_

I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand, sniffing one last time. "I know. I have to," I murmured as I expelled a deep breath.

"We all have to!" Riku said, laying back on his back again. "She's our friend."

"She's more," I said, closing my eyes. "She's so much more."

Riku suddendly sat up. "Sora… are you still in love with her?"

"No," I said, opening one eye to look at him. "But I do still love her. There's a difference."

Riku raised a brow. "Doesn't seem like it. What's that difference, according to you?"

"If you are _in love _with someone… you… you… well, let me put it differently," I said, frowning. "You love your mother, don't you?"

"Of course I do."

"But you aren't married to her."

"Sora, that's gross."

"No, but you aren't in love with her, are you?"

"Of course not," Riku started to get angry. "Seriously, what's wrong-"

"I answered your question, idiot."

He fell silent.

"Um… you love Kairi like your mother?" He asked after a while, uncertain

"Dude!" I snapped. "Of course not. I just wanted to point out there are different sorts of love, that's all."

I fell into a moody silence.

"I suppose you're right."

"Of course I'm right."

"Sora," he said, sounding surprisingly teasing for someone who lost their friend today.

He could be such an ass sometimes.

"What?"

"I love you."

"Ah, Riku, gross." I moaned and turned away from him. "Get away from me, you freak."

He simply snickered. "Just wanted to lighten up the mood, that's all."

I grunted, but did not turn back again. "Just get lost with your lightened spirits."

He snickered again, but this time I didn't say anything.

Kairi… I miss you. More than anything.

And tomorrow… I would go looking for that icy bastard.

He knew more than he let us know earlier.

I was positively sure of it.

And I would find out.

No matter what.

He was suspicious, and I wasn't the only one who knew.

He knew it too.


End file.
